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"Permanent
good can never be the outcome of untruth and violence" ~ Mahatma Gandi
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things
that matter" ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has". Margaret Mead - anthropologist- 1901-1978
"Grief
fills the room up of my absent child, lies in his bed, walks up and down with me. Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
Remembers me of all his gracious parts, stuffs out his vacant garments with his form".
~ William Shakespeare "If a Nation expects to be ignorant and free
in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be... if we are to guard against ignorance and remain
free, it is the responsibility of every American to be informed". ~ Thomas Jefferson
Excerpt from "Tears of Rage" by John Walsh (America's
Most Wanted host)
People
who haven't been hit by crime can still enjoy that I call " the luxury of being naive". They go around thinking that it could never happen
to them. I envy those people; I truly do. They don't know any better. They don't understand that once it happens to you everything changes. Every tiny aspect of your life, and even though you
may look the same on the outside and may be acting the same way, on the inside you're coming from a totally different place". If God forbid someone you know has something horrible like this
happen to them, there is really only one thing that you can do. You can listen to them. Sit there. Listen. And don't give half-assed advice. Tell
them it is not God's plan. That they will survive. And that they do not deserve this. Nobody chooses this.
This is not a test. We are not Job. This is not Jesus or God or Muhammed testing to see whether someone
who is in the middle of a horrible tragedy can deal with it to earn points for the next life. What God in the world would have planned for Adam Walsh
to be murdered and decapitated so that I could become an advocate for children? God didn't sit down somewhere and plan
for my little boy to die so that I could be on TV and change hundreds of laws--No way! That's nobody's God - not Hindu
or Muslim or Jewish or Christian. Those are just trite things people say to try to make you feel better. "Time
will heal all things." It doesn't heal anything. It lessons the pain, but it doesn't make it go away.
It never heals. The day
they put me in the coffin is when my pain for Adam will heal."
Impact statement ~ "The impact that the death of my only child
has had on me, where do I begin?" "My son was going to learn how to drive this summer. He hadn’t
had his first shave. He was funny like no
one else I know. He loved children like I do. His interests included nature, camping, animals, fast cars, video
games, and comedy. We loved watching comedy
together. I loved talking to my son and finding out what he thought about the world and how to deal with
life. He would have made a great father because he understood first hand what rejection from his father was. His voice was still changing, when I would laugh at his squeaky
tones he would get mad. It wasn’t easy for us, a single mom raising a son by herself. One
thing I know for sure is he knew he was loved. Everyday I would tell him he was loved and he was snuggled and hugged
constantly. He loved babysitting his cousins with me. He considered his cousins his siblings. Every summer he would go to camp, sometimes twice
to different camps. The highlight of his camping experience was a trip to the Boundary Waters in July of
2002. They canoed and portaged 236 miles! He told me he wanted a career that would include working
with his hands. He liked working on gadgets and like most teenagers and children, was a whiz with technology.
The void in my life will never be filled from this loss. I am at times paralyzed with grief. The emotional
toll is all encompassing. My whole life for the past 15 years was Benny. I will not let his life
be in vain. The very handsome young teen was growing into a wonderful young man, ready to go to college.
He wanted to get married and be a good dad, he told me at one point. I no longer have that future.
A future that would have included grandchildren. I have ten siblings and twenty seven nieces and nephews.
I am grateful for their support and sad that they have to mourn for my Benny, too. We all have to mourn
because of this huge loss. He was my buddy. I will never love anyone as much as him. Watching my beautiful Bennyboy growing into a man, finding
out what he wanted to do in this great big world. I had planned on going back to school myself when he graduated from
high school. Maybe the same college! He informed me he didn’t like that idea! Now he
is gone because of stupidity, ignorance and violence. I will never get over missing my Ben. The gash in my heart cannot be mended. I will work to
keep my son’s memory alive with education, awareness and sensitivity via the arts and sciences.
This
impact statement was read to the court by my brother when Ben's killers were sentenced in August 2003.
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-This is read on each September 25th for our Day of Remembrance for victims of murder-
GOVERNOR'S PROCLAMATION
Supporting
the goals and ideals of a Minnesota Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims
Whereas the
death of a loved one is a devastating experience, and the murder of a loved one is exceptionally difficult;
Whereas the friends and families of murder victims cope with grief through a variety of support services,
including counseling, crisis intervention, professional referrals and assistance in dealing with the criminal justice
system; and Whereas the designation of a Minnesota Day of Remembrance for murder victims on September
25th of each year provides an opportunity for the people of Minnesota to honor the memories of murder victims and to recognize
the impact on surviving family members:
Now, therefore be it proclaimed that
the State of Minnesota-
(1) supports the goals and ideals of a Minnesota Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims
and
(2) recognizes the significant benefits of the organizations that provide services to the loved ones of murder
victims. Margueritte (Maggie) Doran, Rome Hanson, St. Paul, Minnesota
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We have come this far because of the generous support
of our family and friends. We have hosted eleven benefits since Ben's foundation was formed.
We have also received support through local community grants. We need donations to keep us going! We are grassroots
and depend on every contribution.
Please DONATE
TODAY! Your contribution will help us support survivors of homicide and is TAX DEDUCTIBLE! Please click on
the CONTRIBUTIONS TAB for more information ~ Thank you so much!
Margueritte (Maggie) Doran, Rome Hanson, St. Paul, Minnesota
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